Trying to Smile

I AM NOT SATISFIED WITH THE ENDING. THERE WAS NO ENDING! What happens to Offred after she's taken by the men in the black van?! Why did Nick tell her that it's going to be okay? Was he part of the underground movement that Moira mentioned before? (Btw, poor Ofglen. I'm actually kind of sad that she died - but at least she died in a somewhat less painful and more dignified manner than if she would've been caught). I want to know whether this is Offred's end or beginning. The ending is way too open ended >.< !

I can't believe Serena Joy found out about the Commander and Offred. I mean, can the Commander be any more stupid? He left lipstick on his shirt, i think. I don't know - Serena Joy mentioned this wasn't the first time though but she trusted Offred (yet another betrayal, how sad). I wonder how Offred got found out though. I mean, it was pretty obvious that Serena Joy didn't snitch on her - she actually seemed surprised that she was getting taken away. Could it have been the new Ofglen? But i'm doubtful about that for some reason. She was willing to tell Offred about the old Ofglen and how she hanged herself. But i guess at the end, she was just a true believer and must have felt the need to snitch? I don't know.

How could the end leave so many more unanswered questions?!

Everything

There are so many twists and turns into this book! I can't believe the Commander actually took Offred out of the house and into what i would call a "whore house." I guess this just shows that even in a society with such strict restrictions and rules, there are still those who are willing to venture out and break them, even those who have the power and are suppose to actually enforce the rules.

I was a little disappointed to see Moira there though. I mean afterall, i actually thought she escaped, escaped from the society as a whole and found the "real" world again. I mean, from what she tells Offred though, it seems like she's a lot better off in there than at the Red Center but still .. i think it killed the spirit of Offred. BUT i guess there still is hope - i mean obviously there are people who are running an underground operation for those who are trying to escape and be free. Maybe someday Offred could escape and find Luke and her little girl.

I really think the Commander is a creep. First of all, he puts Offred in this really skanky, feathery, top thing and then brings her to a whore house (or some type of equivalent - i lack a better word for it). Secondly, i mean he's breaking almost ALL the rules! All the Commanders are! How hypocritical of them. And third, i'm pretty sure now that the Commander wanted sex in the first place when he first asked Offred to play Scrabble with him. I mean, he tells her that he wanted to do this so this time they can enjoy it (BLAH! creep.) Anyways, he just reminds me of a creepy old guy whose just really horny - yuck.

SO, what exactly happen between Offred and Nick? She keeps fantasing. I can't tell what's real and what's not. She claims she doesn't really know how it happened but .. i don't know. Not sure I understand that. And, why does she fantasize about Nick so much? Is she trying to replace him with Luke? Or is she just longing for some effection, emotion, or love from someone? I feel bad for her. Hopefully someday, she could get out of here and be happy again.

Only Look At Me (Part 2)

I was really surprised when Serena Joy offered a picture of Offred's daughter to her, in exchange for her to try and reproduce with Nick (which i thought was ironic because Offred and Nick seems to have a little attraction to each other in the first place). Offred's reaction was so, bitter & angry, just like how i would have reacted. But, i'm curious to how Serena Joy knows where her daughter is. Do they keep track of where the children of the Handmaid's go? Yeah, and i think this was the first time we've actually seen the Commander's Wife be nice, or at least genuine to Offred. She even offers her a cigarette, which was extremely kind but i wonder how she knew Offred craved that.

Anyways, i thought what the commander said about how the men had nothing for them anymore was extremely surprising. It's interesting that he mentions how he says there was nothing the men could do with the women and how sex became too easy (it could be purchased). But i think what struck me the most was how he said that there was nothing for the men to work for, nothing to fight for. I assume when he's talking about that, he's refering to the world before the "take over". And it's weird because, i would think that he has nothing to work for and fight for now instead of back then. I mean, back then there was competition amongst each other but now everybody just accepts their roles in society - that's boring.

So, the Provaganzas are weddings for angels! That's interesting but i also think it's awkward. The women they are marrying, they don't even know and have never seen before (I assume) and yet, they are pretty much stuck with them for life. They don't have to love each other either. I can't really imagine a loveless, lifeless marriage - it must be hard.

Last point: How did Ofglen know that Offred was seeing the Commander privately? Do they have spies too? o_O

Foolish Love

"We're not each other's, anymore. Instead, I am his.
Unworthy, unjust, untrue. But that is what happened."
I found that quote extremely interesting. Perhaps it was the fact that Luke accepted her inferiority better than I would have expected. They seemed to have complemented each other so perfectly, but in this time of need, I feel Luke had deserted her. The fact that he never even asked her how she felt, the fact that he accepted the idea that she was his, like property. Blah, that's unacceptable. But then again, I guess it's really not his fault. He was made to believe that men were superior (or at least that's what it seems like).

Perhaps the better question, or thought to ponder about is, who, specifically, could have done these things? What was the purpose? Why make men assume a superior role and strip away the rights of women that they have long fought for? The book mentioned that someone or group had shot the president, and killed the entire Congress and basically took over. Again, why? For all we know, the world seemed to be functioning normally. Why was there a need to change? Why throw everything into a whirlwind and cause such distress? I wish I could get to these answers sooner.

Anyways, I thought it was extremely interesting that Ofglen broke the rules and talked to Offred about the "forbidden subjects." It really surprised me - she seemed like one of those, like Offred said true believers (like goody too shoes in school). I'm really curious to see who was the "us" she referred to when she asked Offred to join them. What could her group be planning? A rebellion to take back their world? An escape? What would happen? Ah, most questions to answer.

Last thought: I wonder, what did happen to Luke? Did he change? Offred mentions that, "By the time I could have done that, I was afraid to. I couldn't afford to lose you." Maybe he did. You know, my title for this blog would be very appropriate here: Foolish Love.

Remember

So i just finished reading chapters 21-23. I actually thought these chapters were kind of interesting. First of all, i thought it was extremely funny how during the Birth Day (i think they were called) that someone slipped alcohol into the grape juice that the women were drinking. I don't know, it just seemed really weird because Offred (i think that's her name) was talking about how during these Birth Days, things like this happens all the time and that even they need a little relaxing. What i thought was really weird was when Janine was giving birth, she was able to get up, use the bathroom, and then walk around. I mean, when i picture someone giving birth, i imagine them lying in a bed, and in too much pain to even talk. But Janine, she seemed perfectly fine! At some point, i actually thought the baby was gonna pop out of her while she was on the portable toilet haha. Anyways!, i thought it was strange when the rest of the women chanted phrases like "push" while Janine was giving birth - i mean if i was giving birth, i would be so annoyed to hear that. BUT the WEIRDEST thing was the fact that the rest of the women felt the pain that Janine felt. Like Offred, who after the birth said that she felt that her breasts were heavy and how she was soo tired and everything. I don't know - that's hard to imagine. To be able to feel someone else's physical pain even though you've never been through such an experience? hmmm. OH! I'd also like to point out that i think in chapter 21 was the first time that i got the sense of "unity" in the book - all the women were united while the baby was coming out of Janine; they smiled together "one smile". I thought that seemed interesting and i guess it can be related to even now because the birth of a new child usually unites people together (like family & friends).

I'm so proud of Moira for escaping! What she did was hecka G. I really would love to have a friend like her. And i think it's a create example of how in any society, there will always be those who are willing to take a stand and stand up for change - to stand up for what they believe in. Moira believed in her freedom and she stood up and fought for it. It's great that she escaped!

Last point : the Commander is a CREEP. At first i thought he was an okay guy, because all he asked of Offred was to play Scramble (which i thought was kind of weird because of all the things to play, Scramble! But i guess it does relate to one of the motiffs of the story, which is the play on words). BUT then, at the end he asked Offred to kiss him. WHO DOES THAT?! It's so random and out of the blue. It's like, "oh, will you play scramble with me?" and then "kiss me." How weird! I guess it would've been "okay" if he just let her go after she kissed him. But the fact that he said, kiss me like you mean it! What is this old guy trying to do?! What a creeper =/!

Yearning From The Heart

Wow, i must say, this new book we're reading is "weirder" than The Leffhand of Darkness. It took me a really long time to actually figure out what was going on, but even now, i am still confused >.<. What exactly happen to Earth (i'm assuming they still live on Earth)? Are their religious wars going on? Are the men in charge, as in the permanent dominant species? What is a Handmaid? Well, i've come to a conclusion that a Handmaid is a woman that the Commander has intercourse with in order to bear a child becuase .. i guess his wife is incapable? But then again, if that's really the case, why don't they just marry someone who CAN bare a child? Why do you need specific women to do that o_O?

Also, not only are the roles of the people confusing, i don't really understand their rules. They can't even speak to each other openly - it's a crime. And the women can't even give eye contact because it's form of penetration? I don't really understand the logic. There are so many rules, limitations! I feel that the women, and even some of the men in the story are stripped of their freedom. I guess what i'm more interested in is how this happened.

The relationships are so complicated. What is the difference between and Angel and a Guardian in context with the story? To me, i've always regarded those two as similar beings. An angel is a person's guardian. I assume the book refers to Angels as warriors and Guardians as .. police? I don't know - it's all so confusing!

Why did they hang the people at the Wall? The women mentioned something about they were doctors that took life away? I assume that means they helped women with abortions - but wasn't that the choice of the women? They were simply doing their jobs - just perhaps taking another's life away is wrong but still i don't think they deserve to be hung. And the others that were hung - they were suppose to be examples to the women of what they shouldn't do/be. But how? Like the narrator said, the women can even concieve even if they WANTED to - they had to chosen or something.

Anyways, i look forward to discussing this in class - THERE ARE SO MANY QUESTIONS THAT NEEDS TO BE ANSWERED >.<.